5 Lies On My Facebook Profile

Let’s face it. We all lie to ourselves on a daily basis and the internet makes it worse. It is our enabler and it’s so good at doing this we’ve started believing our own bullshit. We think we are who our profiles say we are. But we aren’t, are we? So here I am, taking a moment to admit that I am not as put together as I would like to seem to the world:

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1. My name is not Aika Rojas.

My real name is Jerryca Fiona Gabuelo Rojas. It’s a tiny detail but it’s a big deal. Names are important. It’s the first bit of ourselves we voluntarily present to other people, our personal brand, if you must. ‘Aika’ is the brand I have chosen to distinguish myself with in the public sphere. I believe it is a name that represents a girl who is direct and uncomplicated, but unique enough to be memorable and maybe even just a little bit charming. This is who I am when I give you this name. However, the rest of the time I am ‘Jerryca Fiona’, a girl who is equal parts strange and familiar, a story that is difficult to grasp and even harder to recount in its entirety, and an existence that is complex and fragmented, struggling to be a single thing when it is not.

2. I am not the girl in my profile picture.

I have more blemishes than are visible. I had to comb my hair until my arms were sore just to get it to curve inward. Most days, my hair twists and turns in every direction because I prefer functional limbs. I don’t own any bright and colorful floral dresses. Majority of my clothes are basics and I lust for a diverse wardrobe as a result. Fortunately, I have good friends who help me live the dream for brief moments every now and then. Hence, my profile picture is nothing but a tableau of the character I have made up for my digital farce.

3. I don’t have that many friends.

It says I have at least 1,500 friends. This is the biggest lie of all. How the hell does any human being maintain friendships by the thousands? It’s just not possible. If anything, this number consists mostly of people I don’t really know. Take away the names who don’t matter to me personally and I’m left with the good ten percent who do. Although, that’s already when I’m feeling generous.

4. I am not taking up Applied Mathematics: Major in Mathematical Finance.

As of the moment I am writing this, I technically still am. I am in the process of shifting concentration. On paper, I am still in the program but, in reality, my heart hasn’t been in it since sophomore year. I started taking management classes last year and I am loving my life again. But I have to admit, ‘Applied Mathematics: Major in Mathematical Finance’ still sounds more impressive. Promise I’ll update my ‘ABOUT’ section after I’ve officially shifted though! (teehee)

5. My photos don’t tell the whole story.

Unfortunately, I constantly have to filter myself to appeal to society’s standards (and to avoid harsh judgement). I can only show the presentable version of my whole person, a tiny fraction of who I really am. It’s not because I am ashamed of myself. In fact, I like my unfiltered self better because she laughs like she means it, indulges her silly ideas, and embraces her idiosyncrasies. Sadly, most people would rather I keep her away from the public eye, lest I offend the sensibilities of a stranger I could care less about. Thus, in the spirit of IDGAF, here are a few of the number of moments that never made the cut:

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There you go! I’ve exposed my crap for all to see and have a good laugh at. Got any of your own? Share them in the comments! :)

2 thoughts on “5 Lies On My Facebook Profile

  1. Crimson says:

    -> Many of my pictures are composed of me and different friends of mine. posing and smiling together. good friends…but good friends of the past. most of those people you see with me used to be friends i was close to, but now they are merely acquaintances i know no current information of. I don’t know how to take care of friendships. I can start many but they always eventually wither away and die. that’s why you won’t be surprised that i have no “best friend” or “childhood friend” from my past.I can never take care of friendships properly because.

    ->I have many pictures and posts showcasing my love for the japanese culture as if i am a model otaku who knows a lot about the culture. in reality though i know very little. i know little in the sense that i know many names but don’t know what they are attached to, their implications and origins…something like that. basically My knowledge of anything is more often than not shallow. this can also be applied to my love for Halo and guns, and such. I never take the effort to enrich my knowledge in the topic because.

    ->All smiles. Always Happy. but deep inside the opposite is true due to the fact that my life is not how i want it to be because.

    >because i am lazy in every sense of the word
    because I have a dangerously weak willpower which is capable of eventually making me amount to nothing

    • Thank you for sharing! :)

      > You’re not alone. I think a lot of us take comfort in how our friendships look okay and intact online when the opposite could be true in real life. We’re more well versed in liking posts on FB than giving the people around us genuine compliments. It has become easier for us to befriend people online and oftentimes we settle for this because we’ve forgotten the art of connecting with people face-to-face.

      > All of us will always have something more to learn about the world. Fortunately, you can always Google these things which you have a shallow knowledge of and take baby steps in learning just a bit more. Then again, maybe that’s why we know so little. We know the information is always just a click away and we postpone doing this because it’s easy. I used to get engrossed reading about Japanese culture but, with the rise of social media, I’ve grown increasingly detached and haven’t felt the need to update myself in a long time.

      > I don’t think anyone ever wants to look vulnerable and pitiful online. We love playing out the farce of happiness in the digital world.

      > Honestly though, I think you underestimate your capabilities. It took willpower and guts for you to admit these things to yourself and even more to even post them here. I too get paralyzed over the fear that I may never amount to much in the grand scheme of things. However, I’ve found that it helps to just take things one day at a time, one action at a time. Like with my blog, it’s overwhelming to imagine the collective result and it makes me unable to write. So, I simply focus on the particular post I am writing and, before I know it, I’ll have enough to be proud of. :)

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